RE: My Family’s Obon Journey and Reflections / 家族とお盆

Thank you for reading my article🙂🙂

Your question is very valid! As far as I know, in Japan, it is not that you cannot visit your parents' grave after getting married, but the idea that you should prioritize your husband's ancestors' graves may still be strong. If the two families' graves are not too far apart, I think many people visit both graves and offer incense.

Note: In Japan, married couples take the same surname, and since I changed my surname to my husband's, strictly speaking, I am now a member of my husband's family.

As for me, my husband's family has already divorced, so there is no tradition of gathering during Obon. He is from Kyushu, and since it's not possible to return by plane, he hasn't been back for years. Additionally, the grave is located deep in the mountains...

However, it is also important to honor my husband's ancestors, so we have discussed visiting Kyushu this year to pay our respects at the grave!