RE: Fiction: The magic flower (La flor mágica) [EN/ES]
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This is why we say, 'be careful what you wish for.' This story presents us with a variation of this theme. I liked the setting in the archaic ruins that the two friends are exploring.
It had marble columns, floors as shiny as glass, and silk draperies hung around it that danced in the slightest breeze. Bill got up and called his friend. “Look, Jerry, this place is amazing. It looks like something the most spectacular dream I could ever imagine.”
It's unfortunate that they will live a long time as old men. Should have wished for eternal youth without being turned into babies 😄
One recommendation that I have is for the twist in the story
“My God, I made us into old men who won't be able to die, but our bodies won't stand the test of time.” Bill touched his face.
It might be good to add more meat to this part in a later draft to clarify why their bodies turned old right away. It's not entirely clear to me, but I'm a slow learner :)
It was fun reading it.
Thanks for leaving your excellent comment, my friend.
I'm so glad you enjoyed the story, and I'm honored to receive such an analytical comment. You're right. The last part was a bit confusing, and thanks for the notes. We're all here to learn and improve, and these notes undoubtedly help polish the stories.
A big hug and we'll keep reading!
Absolutely. Different readers will also react differently to the story, so it's good to see the variety of impact.