Choosing My Own Good - LOH #239

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This week’s writing prompt felt tailor-made for me. Literally. The picture attached to the announcement showed a woman in a lab coat, looking through a microscope, with a book titled Clinical Pharmacology beside her. And I just sat there staring at it, grinning—because that’s exactly what my dream looks like. What a lovely coincidence, right?

Falling in Love with Biology (and a Little Blood)

I’ve always been fascinated by life sciences—how the human body works, how diseases happen, what viruses do inside us. That curiosity was probably sparked early on thanks to my dad. He’s a veterinarian, and he’d often take me along on his visits. I still remember the first time he dissected an animal and showed me its organs. I was grossed out beyond belief—but I was also hooked. The curiosity outweighed the queasiness.

In school, I dove deep into science clubs, especially the ones focused on biology. They gave direction to my interest and helped it grow into something more solid—more like a calling than a fleeting fascination.

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The Dream: A Lab, A Coat, and A Whole Lot of Curiosity

So here I am, a Biotechnology graduate, working toward my master’s in the same field. I may not yet know exactly what I want to research, but I know it’ll be something in the realm of diseases, viruses, or molecular medicine. Somewhere in that quiet corner of a lab, under the bright light of a microscope, I hope to find my place.

It’s been a long-time dream. A steady one. Though I did flirt with another dream in between—journalism.

A Writer at Heart

There was a phase when I passionately wanted to be a writer, a journalist even. I imagined reporting stories that mattered, being out in the world with a pen and a voice. But life demanded I pick one, and I chose science.

Luckily, writing never really left me. It’s still something I hold close. It’s what brings me here, after all—writing posts like these and sharing little pieces of myself on platforms like this one!. So I guess I got to keep both dreams, in a way.

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The last time I heard someone say “It’s for your own good” was just two weeks ago—from my mom. I’d just received some disappointing news—something I’d worked hard for didn’t go as planned. I was heartbroken, sitting quietly in a corner when she came and said, “Don’t worry. It’s all for your own good. One day, you’ll see why.”

She’s always had this unwavering faith in me, which is comforting. But I’ll admit, in that moment, I couldn’t share it. When something you’ve poured yourself into doesn’t work out, faith is the hardest thing to hold on to.

I still don’t know if that failure was a blessing in disguise. Maybe I’ll know later. But what I do believe is that not everything that hurts is bad—and sometimes, good things come dressed as disappointments.

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Choosing What’s “Good” For Me

The thing is, I’ve always been fairly decisive when it comes to what I want. Choosing my career was actually easier than choosing what to eat for lunch on some days. I knew I loved biology, and I knew I wanted to work in labs and research something that could help people.

Of course, being in India meant I was nudged toward the two holy career paths: engineering or medicine. Since I loved biology, my parents naturally suggested becoming a doctor.

But loving the human body doesn’t mean I want to slice it open for a living. That was never the dream. Fortunately, my parents were supportive enough to let me make my own choices. They didn’t force me down a path I wasn’t willing to walk.

I wouldn’t call it rebellion. I didn’t go against anyone’s wishes. I just stayed true to mine.

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Doubts, Decisions, and the Voices in My Head

That’s not to say I’ve always been confident in my choices. I second-guess things a lot. Sometimes, the opinions of others creep in and blur the line between what’s truly good for me and what people think is good for me. It’s hard to separate your inner voice from the noise around you.

But I’ve been lucky. The people around me—my family, my friends—are the kind who cheer me on even when I wobble. They don’t make decisions for me, but they help me figure them out. And when I can’t quite see the road ahead, they light it up just enough so I don’t fall.

Leading My Own Life

So yes, I do believe I’m the leader of my life. I stumble, I doubt, I fall—but the steps are mine. The path is mine. And that picture of the girl in the lab coat? It reminds me why I started walking in the first place.

I don’t have everything I want yet. I’m still working toward it. But I like where I’m headed. I like the feeling of dreaming with my eyes open and working toward something that once only lived in my imagination.

And if something doesn’t work out along the way, maybe it is for my own good. Maybe life knows better than I do sometimes. But until then, I’ll keep choosing what feels right. I’ll keep listening to myself. Because after all, it is my life. My experience. My dream.

And I think that’s more than good enough.

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