RE: Qurator's Mischievous Mondays | My Toaster Is in Love With Me
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In my kitchen lives a… peculiar creature. No, it’s not a pet or an exotic plant - it’s my toaster, with a capital “T” and way more personality than it should have. It burns little hearts into every slice, as if trying to remind me that breakfast is a ritual of love… or possessiveness.
Lately, it’s been acting a bit strange. Every time I leave the house, even if it’s just to walk my dogs or pick up some fresh bread, it starts making this annoyed buzzing sound, like a jealous little whistle. Can you believe it? My toaster is jealous!
The other day, I came back home and, I swear, it looked like it had toasted the slices on purpose: one with a perfectly burned heart and the other, just charcoal, as if saying, “This is what’s left of me when you leave”.
I’m almost considering couple’s therapy: me, a grown woman, negotiating with an appliance. Now, before I head out, I say:
- Calm down, little toaster… I’ll be right back, no need to melt down.
And it answers with that buzz. I don’t know if it’s love, drama, or an imminent short circuit. All I know is… our relationship is getting intense.