RE: Fiction: The Journey (Eng-Spn)
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It is clear that this is intended to be a deeply philosophical and poetic piece about the duality of self and the journey to explore life's purpose through creative expression, and you have put yourself out there in trying something new and challenging. While very interesting, unfortunately, this 'stream of consciousness' style resulted in a piece that lacks coherence and structure for the most part. It needed clearer transitions between thoughts and ideas. At times, I also found it impossible to tell who was speaking and in what context. It is also rather abstract in its use of language which makes it quite challenging to read. When I have to read and reread to try to follow and understand a story, then, for me, that piece is not working as it should. This piece has a lot of potential but I think it needs some work to make it a more accessible read.
I understand, @eltintero. For this occasion, I wanted to emulate, in some way, the experience of someone speaking "Alone," confronted by their own conscience. Therefore, the dialogues turned out to be "Intrinsic" and "Subjective," like a human characteristic of someone speaking to themselves in front of a mirror. From there comes the conversational mosaic that the writing demonstrates, a rather risky cocktail of dissonant dialogues where introspection and the individual's emotional burden predominate. It all comes from someone trying to master their mind within the framework of psychoanalysis, on a naturally intimate "journey" toward the depths of being. Ultimately, I emphasize the psychological intention of the writing, which was created "On Purpose," with this argument, which could not be modified without fundamentally altering its meaning. Always striving, in a good way, to evolve in writing and bring some innovation with each new submission. That's all, dear fellow moderators. Thank you for your evaluation and constant support. You are a great team.
Comprendo @eltintero. Para esta ocasión quise emular de alguna manera el acontecer de alguien que habla "Solo", enfrentado a su propia conciencia. Por tanto los diálogos resultaron ser "Intrínsecos" y "Subjetivos", como una característica humana de alguien que habla consigo mismo delante de un espejo. De allí proviene el mosaico conversacional que demuestra el escrito, todo un cóctel, bastante arriesgado, de diálogos disonantes donde predomina la introspección y la carga emocional del individuo. Todo proveniene de alguien que trata de dominar su mente al marco del psicoanálisis, en un "viaje" naturalmente íntimo hacia las profundidades del ser. En fin, recalco la intención psicológica del escrito el cual fue creado "A propósito", con esta argumentación, la cual no se podría modificar sin alterar contundentemente su significación. Tratando siempre, de buena manera, de evolucionar en la escritura y traer algo de innovación con cada nueva entrega. Es todo, apreciados compañeros moderadores. Gracias por su evaluación y apoyo constante. Ustedes son un gran equipo.