The People's Pleaser (no true gain) #LOH243

Everyone has something that they'd like to change about themselves. It might be a physical thing, a character trait, or anything at all. What is the one thing you would choose to change about yourself and why?

There comes a time in our lives when we realize that being perfect can only be identified by us when we are still in our innocent stage of life. (All things perfect becomes imperfect at some point). Most times these imperfections are identified by ourselves,family members, friends etc

One trait I have that I would want to change about myself is being a PEOPLE'S PLEASER, that's my worst nightmare as an adult when i started realiseing the disadvantages.

Usually I would feel NOT at EASE if I ever say no or disagree with someone in an agument, I will keep things boiling inside me without altering a word even if I know mine is the right one, all this just for peace to reign.

I taught it was just a phase and I was thinking it would go away, I realise it's still stock in me, giving me peace of mind physically with my neighbors and friends but inside of me it's draining.

Let me paint a scenario of my day by day predicament with this trait called people pleaser, I and my neighbor hired someone to clear the grasses in our compound for us, due to our tight schedule expecially me because I close really late, and feel exhausted whenever I close from work.

I went home and I saw one of my neighbors packing the cut grasses and throwing them outside to filll the pothole at the road, yes I was exhausted, tell me why I can't just tell her I can't join her, not that she asked me to join her or anything, I just felt bad and don't want to be the talk of the compound, and that's how I was feeling in my mind. I ended up working with her till everywhere got dark, feeling hungry and extremely exhausted.

I always assume I will be talked about at my back if I don't respond to certain issues on ground for instance, am being owed some certain amount of money by a friend of mine, money I had budgeted for something else but I ended up giving her because of how urgent hers was.

It's been more than a month now, and I haven't seen or heard anything from her except when I call her, even if I do, I always feel so scared and try to practice my wordings before speaking to her because I don't want any issues.

For a fact I need the funds and this is dragging me backward, if I had say no to her, that I don't have the money and I do, I would also feel so bad at myself.

This trait is really draining me emotionally, physically because I can't express myself to the maximum, I feel so isolated from my true self (like a child that is being tossed around from hand to hand).

I hate being a people pleaser because looking back, I know what I would have achieved if I had said yes and no in certain situations.

A very good colleague of mine once told me, "I know you won't say no, you should better grow up".

I hate being a people pleaser, I want to grow in every area of my life.

Advice on how to overcome being a people's pleaser will be so much appreciated

All photos are mine

Thanks ladies ♥

@tehilah