Qurator's Mischievous Mondays | If Coffee Could Judge Me

Welcome to Qurator's Mischievous Mondays!
This will be a weekly competition that we will be hosting every Monday. We want to see a little more engagement and fun when it comes to some of our competitions so this will be a simpler and shorter competition. Easy to enter, but maybe not so easy to win. ;) This competition will be similar to the Monday Missions we had a long time ago, but instead of writing posts to enter we will now consider only the comments and answers on this blog as your entry to win.
Why Mischievous?
We all could use a little fun in our lives. We would even say that we deserve it, let loose a little and have a go at making everyone laugh or think a little, even if it is a little over the top or pure silliness. Go all out and let your creative juices flow.

If Coffee Could Judge Me

RULES
Write a comment in this post, your comment will be your entry.
Only comments that fit the theme and style.
It has to be done by you, no plagiarism.
All entries will be reviewed by the Qurator team.
Only one entry per account.
Deadline: Before the timer on this post runs out.
Your entry will not count if you aren't following the above-mentioned rules.

The Most Awkward Compliment Ever
1st Prize - 30% Upvote
@mysteriousroad

2nd Prize - 25% Upvote
@rikolo

3rd Prize - 20% Upvote
@blessing.simeon

4th Prize - 15% Upvote
@hatdogsensei

5th Prize - 10% Upvote
@ozd


Congrats to the winners!

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Oh wow ! Thank you so much and congratulations to all
My coffee said I am strong than you 😭😛( tumse to me hi strong hu )
"If coffee could judge me, maybe I'd be a 'criminal' every day! But what would that be? My day is absolutely impossible without coffee!"
You're so slow you going to be latte at work
‘Oh, so we’re back to the toxic relationship, huh? You use me to pretend you have your life together, and I pretend I still work’.
😍👍
My coffee just smirked and said, ‘You only love me when you’re tired… typical.
If my coffee could judge me, it would say "you totally don't need me to stay up all day, you're just good the way you are. Basically in Nigeria,you guys do not need coffee to stay awake, you would sleep by 3am, 5am you're awake, going about you daily routine without even thinking ab using my help".
My ☕ would tell me:
“Still pretending I’ll fix your morning mood? I’m coffee, not magic!”
Here I am, like every day, waiting for you to come by and give me your crumbs of love.
Crumbs, yes!
Because you only come to me when you need me. You come, you smile at me, you tease me. You dare to savor me placidly, to perceive my intoxicating aroma, and feel like the king of the world. Thanks to me, yes; thanks to me, you have many things. I have awakened you so many times, when you thought you couldn't go on, there I was. Giving you my hand, lifting you out of your abyss. What do I get in return? Only moments of pleasure at certain times, when you sigh for me, when you flatter me, when I see the expression of delight on your face, but then comes your forgetfulness. Then you leave and abandon me.
It's such a toxic relationship that every morning, I hope to see you again. That makes me happy.
Are you really going to betray me again by adding a creamer in me? .... Argh 😫