Fiction: Your fortune is gone (Eng-Spn)

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(Edited)

(English)

Your fortune is gone

Author: @nachomolina2



Author's Note: Before I begin, I must clarify that I will repeatedly use in the context of this story the phrase: "Nǐ de cáifù xiāoshīle", which refers to the phonetic form of a possible pronunciation adapted to English for the Chinese expression: 你的財富消失了 (Traditional Chinese), according to the translator DeepL, which finally, translated into English means: "Your fortune is gone", which is nothing more than the title of this story.



Before leaving home, with the silver Grand Torino idling, still inside the shed, the radio automatically tuned into the romanza.

As the car reversed out of the garage, it left a tire track on the grass, ruining it. Frost hit the windshield, and the wipers swung in an oddly rhythmic jiggle.

“Nǐ de cáifù xiāoshīle”, “Nǐ de cáifù...”; played repeatedly on the radio player, contrasting the tune with the humid external environment, the slippery asphalt and the saturated concrete, while the racing car headed towards the popular ethnic enclave.

Nǐ de cáifù... insisted on his mind in a cyclical way, inviting him to fantasy, xiāoshīle..., that nonsense, inoculation of an asynchronous phrase, of which no one would be able to discover what its real meaning is unless they had a skillful command of the Chinese language or were some inveterate language researcher, even so, she seemed to understand it.

Nanny insistently turned the dial, trying to find the strange lyrics that had been playing just minutes before. Unaware of their meaning, soon, left alone in the car, the sublime cadence orchestrated by bamboo flutes captivated her. She could listen to it all night if necessary, captivated by such light movements perfectible to her critical ear.

They had just parked near the drive-thru, but in a separate spot, marked with yellow stripes and the words: Reserved Position, centrally located.

Inside the service booth, she noticed the figure of the attendant, looking at the Grand Torino, with a dumbfounded expression, waiting for a customer.

Nanny knew nothing about contemporary Eastern culture, nor its cuisine. She'd heard nothing about fortune cookies, Chinese porcelain, fetishes, and kung fu. Funny as it may seem, she knew nothing else.

Aside from the surly delivery man with no trade and the empty parking lot where only the 68 Ford was parked, there was nothing else, just slush and completely empty marked spots.

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image source: unsplash

The percussion produced by the buffalo-hide tambourines, as well as the traditional microphoned wind instruments, sounded very good when converted to stereo, Nanny thought, hence the characteristic rotation of the audio moving from one speaker to the other, coupled with the depth of the ethnic nuances that kept her glued to her seat, mesmerized.

The father of the siblings, Kelly and Junior, decided to get out of the car and enter the restaurant. However, given the cold night, he was certain that for someone after eight, as was the case, if they weren't wearing the double coats (anoraks) with edging and hoods, it would be, if nothing else, imminent frostbite.

Kelly, dressed in her pajamas, wearing only a pair of wool slippers and wool gloves, seemed immune to the cold and immediately went after her father, followed by Junior, like a good younger brother, tied to her skirts.

Junior, for his part, was wearing a wool hat with ear flaps and cotton pajamas, but he was barefoot and had nothing to cover his hands. He decided to leave the house at the last minute, running, and jumping into the passenger seat after learning we were going for Chinese food.

Walking headlong toward Chinatown, Mr. Peterson felt Kelly's back when she hoisted herself up, followed by another blow to the ribs from Junior's grip, also climbing up.

Thus, they crossed the Friendship Arch and disappeared behind the red-gold decorative panels, with labels of koi fish, cranes, dragons, and gods of fortune, which, as a sign of good luck, marked the entrance to the restaurant welcoming customers.

With the door locks unlocked and the heat on, after insisting that Mr. Peterson use the drive-thru to avoid the hassle of getting out with the children, she knew it was pointless, as she knew well the family delight of those three henchmen. Fortunately, she had some downtime left.

The nasal voices continued: “Nǐ de cáifù xiāoshīle”, to the full splendor of Eastern mysticism floating in the car's cabin and the dominance of the dark and commanding flugelhorn.

Nanny herself was a lover of soul and rhythm and blues music, and she also accepted some classics such as Frederic Chopin's Nocturne in C-sharp Minor, along with Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's The Marriage of Figaro and The Magic Flute, musical works surgically selected by her as part of her library.

Nanny's tastes were exalted, so much so, she admitted, that other works, such as Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera and Giuseppe Tartini's sonata, "The Devil's Trill," despite their eccentricity, were never listened to because they seemed ominous.

The oriental feature framed in that piece he was now studying, led by a throaty chanter with a sullen tone who only repeated the phrase: “Nǐ de cáifù xiāoshīle”, Untranslatable to her, it was the only thing that mattered.

But at the same time, in keeping with her keen appreciation of art, the chant, for Nanny, evoked the transfiguration of atavistic, reckless beings with harsh features, clad in the garb of a Wu Di warrior from the Three Kingdoms period, or monks huddled in ancient Buddhist robes.

Given the moment of ecstasy and total rapture, Nanny, halfway through her bohemian journey, remained for a long time leaning against the window in the most subjective and profound musical delight, gazing at the Chinatown sign, the solitary surroundings, the mirror-like asphalt moistened by frost, and the restroom booth.

She mentally followed the melody like a mantra, a personal purifier of her sleeping soul that longed for some peace. She thought about how lucky she was, until, insistently knocking on the glass, the silhouette of a strange man brought her back to the cruel, reactionary world.

Nanny panicked, backing halfway up the cushion, unwilling to open the window for any reason. At that very moment, the Torino's heater suddenly shut off, apparently out of order. To top off her fright, she paid no attention.

Then, examining the subject in minute detail, she identified the man as the drive-thru attendant, who again banged, exhaling steam on the glass from the freezing cold.

When Nanny rolled down her window a little, he wordlessly reached into the car and handed her a fortune cookie.

The man paused for a brief moment, seemingly listening to the song Nanny was tuning into on the radio, which continued at full volume. Upon interpreting what the dull singer had said, he made a catastrophic, horrified gesture, looked at Nanny, and then ran off like someone who had just heard a malicious sermon.

As soon as she saw him enter the service booth, she forgot her grief and set about unwrapping the buttonhole.

Upon removing the small label containing the "lucky note," anxious to know her fate, Nanny realized it was written in Chinese. Disappointed, given her limited language skills, she began to eat the cookie while lightly scanning the unintelligible letters that, according to tradition, predicted her fortune: "你的財富消失了".

Immediately afterward, the lights of Chinatown went out. The drive-thru window was closed, and the welcome sign at the restaurant's entrance was removed.

The clerk simply disappeared, and in darkness, the parking lot was synonymous with immeasurable helplessness.

Nanny dropped the fortune cookie, eating only half of it, and she also threw away the sticker with the lucky note: 你的財富消失了, of which she wanted nothing to do, nor to ever understand its meaning.

Without any signs of life, much less, Nanny, could she even imagine the fate of the Kelly and Junior children, or of Mr. Peterson, who, had they been outside, would undoubtedly have frozen to death.

Nanny was left alone, with that melody playing in the background, orphaned, locked in the cabin of the car with the locks loose, without heat, while the temperature dropped precipitously and the 1968 Gran Torino, little by little, was turned into a mound of snow.

END

[Original Content]
@nachomolina2

2025




Check out the contest rules here: The Inkwell Fiction Prompt #226

DeepL was used for translation




(Spanish)

Se acabó tu fortuna

Autor: @nachomolina2



Nota del autor: Antes iniciar, debo aclarar que usaré repetidamente en el contexto de esta historia, la frase: "Nǐ de cáifù xiāoshīle", lo cual alude a la forma fonética de una posible pronunciación adaptada al español para la expresión china: 你的財富消失了 (Chino tradicional), según el traductor DeepL, la cual finalmente, traducido al idioma español significa: "Se acabó tu fortuna", que es no más, que el título de este relato.



Antes de salir de casa, casi de modo instantáneo, con el Gran Torino color plata, en ralentí, aun dentro del cobertizo, la radio sintonizó por sí sola la romanza.

Cuando el automóvil abandonaba el garaje, en retroceso, iba dejando la marca neumática en el césped, arruinándolo, de igual modo, la escarcha golpeaba el parabrisas y los limpiadores bailoteaban extrañamente acompasados.

“Nǐ de cáifù xiāoshīle”, “Nǐ de cáifù...”; sonaba repetidamente en el radio reproductor, contrastando la tonada con el húmedo ambiente externo, el asfalto resbaladizo y el hormigón saturado, mientras el bólido enderezaba el rumbo hacia el popular enclave étnico.

Nǐ de cáifù... insistía en su mente de forma cíclica, invitándole a la fantasía, xiāoshīle..., aquel sinsentido, inoculación de una frase asíncrona, de la que nadie atinaría a descubrir cuál es su real significación a menos que tuviera un hábil manejo del lenguaje chino o se tratase de algún empedernido investigador idiomático, aun así, ella, parecía entenderlo.

Nanny, giraba la perilla del dial insistentemente, trataba de dar con la extraña lírica que sonaba hacía, tan solo, minutos atrás. Ignorante de su significado, pronto, al quedar sola en el auto, la cadencia sublime orquestada por flautas de bambú, le enamoró, bien podría escucharla toda la noche si fuera preciso, cautiva en tan livianos movimientos perfectibles a su oído crítico.

Acababan de paquear cerca del drive-thru, pero, en un puesto aparte, demarcado con franjas amarillas y el letrado: “Reserved Position”, céntrico.

Dentro de la casilla del service, ella notó la figura del dependiente, mirando el Gran Torino, con cara de embaucado en espera de algún cliente.

Nanny no sabía nada de la cultura oriental contemporánea, tampoco de su gastronomía, cuando mucho había escuchado hablar de las fortune cookie, la porcelana china, la fetichería y el kung fu, aunque parezca gracioso, no sabía de nada más.

Aparte del repartidor huraño sin oficio y el descampado estacionamiento donde solo se veía parqueado el Ford del 68, nada más había, solo agua nieve y puestos demarcados completamente vacíos.

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image source: unsplash

La percusión que logran los tamborines de piel de búfalo, así como, los instrumentos de viento tradicionales microfoneados suenan muy bien cuando son llevados al formato estéreo, pensó nanny, de ahí, la característica giratoria del audio transitando de un parlante a otro, sumado, a la profundidad de los matices étnicos que la mantuvieron pegada al asiento con hipnotismo.

El padre de los hermanos, Kelly y Junior, decidió bajar del auto y entrar al restaurant, no obstante, el acaecer de una tan fría noche, a certeza de que para alguien, pasadas las ocho, como tal era el caso, si no llevaba puesto el doble abrigo anoraks con ribetes y capucha, sería, si acaso no más, la inminente congelación.

Kelly vestida con el pijama, calzando aparte, tan solo un par de babuchas de lana y usando en las manos unos guantes también de lana, parecía inmune al frío e inmediatamente, fue tras su padre, seguida de Junior, como buen hermano menor atado a sus faldas.

Junior, por su parte, usaba un gorro de estambre con tapa orejas, también un pijama de algodón, pero andaba descalzo y sin nada que cubriera sus manos, ya que, fue a última hora que decidió salir de casa, corriendo, se subió de un salto al puesto de copiloto, todo al enterarse de que iríamos por comida china.

Caminando frontal en dirección al Chinatown, el señor Peterson, sintió el espaldarazo propinado por Kelly cuando esta se guindó, seguido de otro golpe en las costillas por el apretón de Junior, también encaramándose.

Así, rebasaron el arco de la amistad y desaparecieron tras los paneles decorativos rojo-golden, con etiquetas de peces koi, grullas, dragones y dioses de la fortuna, que en augurio de buena suerte, delimitaban la entrada del restaurant dando la bienvenida a los clientes.

Con los seguros de las puertas claudicados y la calefacción encendida, luego de haberle insistido al señor Peterson que usara el drive-thru, para que se evitase la molestia de bajar con los niños, ella supo, que no tenía caso, pues, conocía bien el deleite familiar de aquellos tres secuaces, para bien, le sobró algo de tiempo muerto.

Seguían las voces nasales: “Nǐ de cáifù xiāoshīle”, a todo esplendor del misticismo oriental flotando en la cabina del auto y la dominancia del fiscorno oscuro e imperante.

En sí, nanny era amante del Soul y el Rhythm and blues, también aceptaba algunos clásicos como: Nocturne in C-sharp Minor, de Frederic Chopin, sumada a, Las bodas de Fígaro y La flauta mágica, de Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, obras musicales seleccionadas por ella quirúrgicamente como parte de su biblioteca.

Los gustos de nanny eran excelsos, tan así, admitía, que otras obras, tales como: El fantasma de la ópera de Gastón Leroux y la sonata de Giuseppe Tartini, “El trino del diablo”, a pesar de su excentricidad, nunca las escuchaba por parecerle de mal presagio.

El rasgo oriental enmarcado en aquella pieza que ahora estudiaba, liderada por un chanter gutural de tesitura hosca quien solo repetía la frase: “Nǐ de cáifù xiāoshīle”, intraducible para ella, era lo único que importaba.

Pero a la vez, de acuerdo a su nutrida apreciación del arte, el cántico, para nanny, evocaba la transfiguración de seres atávicos, temerarios, de fisonomía áspera, ceñidos a vestimentas de guerrero Wu Di, del período de los Tres Reinos o a monjes apiñados en túnicas de budistas antiguos.

Dado el momento de éxtasis y total arrobo, nanny, a mitad de su viaje bohemio, permaneció por largo rato apoyada en el vidrio de la ventanilla en la más subjetiva y profunda delectación musical, mirando el letrero del Chinatown, los alrededores solitarios, el asfalto con apariencia de espejo humedecido por la escarcha y la cabina del service.

Seguía mentalmente la melodía como un mantra, depurador personal de su alma dormida que ansiaba algo de paz, pensaba en la suerte que ella tenía, hasta que, golpeando insistentemente el cristal, la silueta de un extraño hombre le trajo de vuelta al mundo cruel, reaccionaria.

Nanny se asustó, retrocediendo hasta la mitad del cojín, no estaba dispuesta a abrir por ningún motivo la ventana. En ese justo momento, la calefacción del Torino se apagó repentina, aparentemente, descompuesta, para colmo del susto, ella, no le prestó atención.

Luego, al detallar minusciosamente al sujeto, identificó que aquel hombre era el departidor del drive-thru, quien nuevamente volvió con los golpetazos, al tiempo que transpiraba bocanadas de vapor en el vidrio por motivo del frío congelante.

Al bajar nanny un pequeño espacio de la ventanilla, éste, sin mediar palabras introdujo la mano en la cabina del auto y le entregó una fortune cookie.

El hombre, se detuvo por un brevísimo instante, pareció escuchar la canción sintonizada por nanny en la radio la cual persistía a todo volumen, motivo por el cual, al interpretar lo dicho por el átono cantante, gesticuló catastróficamente horrorizado, miró a nanny, para luego marcharse a la carrera como quien ha escuchado el maligno sermón.

Tan pronto como le vio entrar a la casilla del service, olvidó la pena que le embargaba y se propuso destapar la envoltura del ojaldre.

Al sacar la pequeña etiqueta contentiva de la "nota afortunada", inquieta por saber de su suerte, nanny se dio cuenta de que la misma estaba escrita en chino, entonces descepcionada, por su limitación en cuanto al idioma, empezó a comer la galleta mientras ojeaba con ligereza las letras ininteligibles que según la tradición le pronosticaban su suerte: "你的財富消失了".

Acto seguido. Las luces del Chinatown se apagaron. Cerrada la ventanilla del drive-thru, también el tabique de bienvenida ubicado a las puertas del restaurant fue retirado.

El dependiente simplemente desapareció y a oscuras, el estacionamiento era sinónimo de inconmensurable desamparo.

Nanny dejó caer la fortune cookie de la cual comió solo la mitad, también tiró la etiqueta con la nota afortunada: 你的財富消失了, de la cual no quiso saber nada, ni llegar nunca a conocer su significado.

Sin señales de vida, menos aun, nanny, podría tan siquiera suponer, de la suerte que corrieron los niños Kelly y Junior, ni del señor peterson, quienes de estar afuera indudablemente se habrían congelado.

Nanny se quedó sola, con aquella melodía sonando de fondo, huérfana, encerrada en la cabina del auto con los pestillos claudicados, sin calefacción, mientras, la temperatura caía precipitada y el Gran torino del sesenta y ocho, poco a poco, quedaba convertido en un promontorio de nieve.

FIN

[Original Content]
@nachomolina2

2025




Consulta las bases del concurso aquí: The Inkwell Fiction Prompt #226

DeepL se utilizó para la traducción






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13 comments
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You can feel the magic through your words. Blessings and my deepest respect.

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(Edited)

Hello @nachomolina2, I don't know what is going on in the story. I've started it several times. Is the car on the grass, or in the shed? How is the car suddenly on the slippery asphalt?

What do the three lines mean that set off sets of words. I know there is a scheme here but really, you have to explain it because I don't get it and I don't want to struggle.

Thanks.

Edit: I know you're doing something highly intelligent, switching POV... I simply can't follow it.

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Okay, I'd be happy to edit the text and remove the three lines. They're just part of the layout I used to enhance the text and highlight certain situations I consider important. These help to convey the chronological thread of the story, which describes three different settings: The Peterson House, The Highway, and Chinatown. Along these same lines, the story expresses the thoughts of certain characters, such as "Nanny," whom I've also highlighted. It uses a basic writing technique adapted to any reader. Now I'll focus on editing the text as instructed, according to your own requirements. @agmoore and
@theinkwell .

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I know you had a different vision for the story, but I simply could not follow your vision. This version I understand perfectly. It is a wonderful story, brilliant. I love the scheme of it, the refrain, the foreshadowing, the horrified attendant, the final mound of snow at the end.

You do write like a poet, and I truly appreciate the precision of language that this implies.

Thanks very much for making those edits. They weren't 'required', but I couldn't curate without them.

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The ending was shocking. I loved how you described the final scenes accompanied by the music. Wonderful story. Congratulations.
Best regards @nachomolina2

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I love the way you always adopt a music into your writings.
I really adored this

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Of course, my friend @venom2951, writing is about exploring the sensory. Music is a powerful tool that can propel the understanding of our work, creating a favorable atmosphere that engages and delights the reader. It's a powerful and engaging writing technique.

Claro amigo @ venom2951, la escritura se trata de explorar lo sensorial. La música es un gran efecto que puede propulsar la comprensión de nuestra obra creando una ambientación propicia que procura el enganche y la delectación del lector. Es una técnica de escritura poderosa y atractiva.

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