How My Background, Culture and Family Shaped Me

I always say my life did not start the day I was born. It started long before that. It started in my grandmother’s compound in Ikot Ekpene, in the early morning sound of pestle hitting mortar as she pounded yam. It started with my mother’s voice singing Ibibio praise songs while washing clothes outside. It started with the way my father would sit under the mango tree after work, quietly picking his teeth and talking about life with his friends in a mix of Ibibio and English. These little things formed the beginning of who I am.

Growing up in Akwa Ibom, family and culture were everything. We learned early that respect is not something to joke with. You greet everybody. You stand up for elders. You don’t talk anyhow. My parents always reminded us that “nsido edi mbub” patience is strength. That saying followed me like a shadow. It shaped the way I talk, the way I think, and the way I treat people.

My father worked with his hands. He was a bricklayer. Every morning, he would carry his tools and head out before sunrise, sometimes with only a piece of bread in his pocket. He never complained. He believed that whatever you do, do it well. Even when he was tired, he still smiled. He used to tell me, “My son, work no dey kill person, na laziness dey kill dream.” I didn’t fully understand those words back then, but now I see what he meant. Watching him made me value dignity in labour. It made me know that no job is small if it feeds your family.

My mother was the heart of our home. She sold garri and crayfish in the market. Small business, but she carried it like a queen. She made sure we ate, went to school and never felt like we lacked anything, even when things were hard. I remember one rainy season when sales were very bad and school fees were hanging in the air. That night, I heard her crying quietly in the kitchen. The next morning, she still woke up early, bathed my younger ones and told us to be strong. That kind of strength is not from the body, it’s from the spirit. Her resilience is what made me believe that I can overcome anything.

The environment also played a big role in shaping me. We lived in a compound house in Uyo where everybody knew everybody. You could not misbehave and expect it to end there. If Mama Emem saw you doing nonsense, she would correct you and still report you to your mother. That sense of community taught me accountability. It also taught me humility. You don’t raise your shoulders too high when everybody around you is watching how you carry yourself.

There’s one day I will never forget. It was the day I came second to last in mathematics. I was afraid to go home. My uncle, who lived with us then, saw my result slip. He looked at me and said, “So you think this small setback means you’re not smart? You’re smart, you just need to try again.” He didn’t shout. He didn’t beat me. That day, I felt seen. It changed how I viewed failure. I stopped seeing it as the end. I started seeing it as part of the journey.

Now that I’m in university, studying History and International Studies, my dreams are clearer. I want to tell stories, preserve culture, and show the world that where you come from is not a disadvantage, it’s a source of strength. Everything I am today, from the way I speak to the way I dream, is because of the village that raised me, the family that believed in me, and the culture that grounded me.

Where I come from is not perfect. There were hard days. Days we had only rice water for breakfast. Days we trekked to school under the sun. But those days taught me gratitude. They taught me to pray. They taught me to never give up.

So yes, my background, my culture, my family, and my environment did not just shape how I see the world. They shaped how I see myself. And for that, I will always be grateful.

Thanks for reading ❤️❤️❤️

Posted Using INLEO