“I told you so”: being right is not something to boast about
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I don't know about you, but the phrase “I told you so” always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. And today, in this weekly contest from the Ladies of Hive community, I want to talk a little bit about it by answering the first question. It's as if you already know you've made a mistake, you're already dealing with the awkward situation, and suddenly someone comes along and rubs salt in the wound. And I'm not going to lie, I've said it myself a couple of times, especially when the situation is already too obvious or when I feel that boundaries have been crossed. But I recognize that, even though it sometimes comes out almost without thinking, it's a phrase that doesn't help, because no one wants to feel singled out when they're already feeling down.
No sé ustedes, pero a mí esa frase "Te lo dije" me deja siempre un sabor medio amargo. Y hoy en este concurso semanal de la comunidad Ladies of Hive, les quiero hablar un poco de ello respondiendo a la primera pregunta. Es como que uno ya sabe que se equivocó, ya está lidiando con el mal rato, y encima viene alguien a echarle limón a la herida. Y no voy a mentir, yo misma la he dicho un par de veces, especialmente cuando la situación ya es demasiado obvia o cuando siento que se pasaron los límites. Pero reconozco que, aunque a veces salga casi sin pensarlo, es una frase que no suma, porque nadie quiere sentirse señalado justo cuando ya está en el piso.
I think we all fall into that trap at some point, that impulse to blurt out, “I warned you, I told you so, see? I was right, you never listen to me,” as if we have to prove that we were right. But in the end, what's the point? We've all been on the other side, hearing that phrase when all we want is to be understood, or at least to be listened to without being judged. And yes, being in that position is pretty awful, because not only do you have to deal with the consequences of something that went wrong, but you also have to listen to people judging you, basically.
Creo que todos en algún momento caemos en eso, en ese impulso de soltar el “te lo advertí, te lo dije, ¿viste que tenía razon?, nunca escuchas lo que te digo”, como si tuviéramos que demostrar que teníamos razón. Pero al final, ¿para qué? Uno también ha estado del otro lado, escuchando esa frase justo cuando lo único que quiere es que lo entiendan, o al menos que lo escuchen sin juzgar. Y sí, estar en ese lugar es bastante chimbo, porque no solo estás enfrentando las consecuencias de algo que salió mal, sino que además te toca escuchar que te juzgan, básicamente.
So, even though it sometimes slips out, I try to avoid saying it. I prefer to accompany, remain silent if I don't know what to say, or just be there. Because everyone has their own process, and even if you can clearly see what's going to happen, it's not always our role to prevent everything, let alone remind them of it afterwards. Sometimes it's better to let the other person learn, just as you've had to do in your own way. And if the person wants to talk about it later, then I'll share my thoughts, but without the “I told you so” part, if my brain remembers not to say it. The truth is that sometimes situations are complicated and we don't act in the best way, but it never hurts to reflect on it internally. I hope you enjoyed hearing my thoughts on the subject. See you soon!
Así que, aunque a veces se me escape, trato de evitar decirla. Prefiero acompañar, quedarme callada si no sé qué decir o simplemente estar. Porque cada quien tiene su proceso, y aunque uno vea claro lo que va a pasar, no siempre es nuestro rol prevenirlo todo ni mucho menos recordarlo después. A veces lo mejor es dejar que el otro aprenda, así como uno también ha tenido que hacerlo a su manera. Y ya si después la persona quiere hablar de eso, ahí sí me lanzo mi reflexión, pero sin el “te lo dije” de por medio, si es que mi cerebro se acuerda de que no debe decirlo. La verdad es que a veces solo son situaciones complicadas y no actuamos de la mejor manera, pero nunca está demás reflexionar internamente sobre ello. Espero que les haya encantado conocer mis opiniones al respecto, nos leemos pronto!
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That phrase "I told you so" really does sting, especially when you're already down and trying to make sense of your own mistake. And sometimes we just need someone to be there, not to fix it or try to prove a point but to sit with us in the moment
I understand that sometimes the phrase escapes us, when it crosses limits, as you say and we have also been on the other side, it is better to try to avoid saying it, and yes, not only are you facing the consequences of the situation but you also have to hear that you are being judged and true, it is never too much to reflect thank you for sharing your experiences,
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