SCHATTERED PLANS

5 days ago

I made lots of plans at the beginning of the year, but almost everything changed three months into the year 2025. As much as I do not like to remember them, I have had to force myself to reflect on the year 2025 so far and force myself to face the pains and shame of not meeting up with my goals which by the way would strengthen my resolve and determination to not make the mistakes I made then and push forward to achieving my new goals. Being someone who is used to setting goals and achieving goals, I would say I found my pride bruised and my expectations dashed when I slowly saw all the goals I made shatter before my very eyes, some were from mistakes I had already made in the past others were more of the aftermaths of the many issues that affected my productivity and made me lose focus. Although I know I do not owe anyone an explanation, I have always been in competition with myself and it has helped me put my affairs in order.

Photo by lucas clarysse on Unsplash

I remember the first goal that crashed before my eyes was my hive goal of writing everyday for a year. I had electricity issues that day and I couldn’t write and thus that goal crashed. I did not blame the electricity though but myself, I had 24 hours to find a solution and would have probably left my house to a place I could charge my phone, or even paid to charge, but I didn’t. I knew if I had tried I would have surely found a way but I did not do enough and look what it cost me. I remember the feeling was like I was having a heart attack when the realization dawned on me that I had failed to achieve my 365 days writing goal, it almost disturbed my consistency and it took everything to get back in. Thankfully it has now become a habit and I am grateful to have cultivated it. I guess even though I did not achieve the one I set, I gave myself a better chance of achieving it next year as writing is no longer stressful for me seeing that it has become a habit.

The next goal I failed to achieve was my 3000 HP goal and that was because I had to power down for a huge part of 2025. My back was dashed against the wall by debts I thought I had cleared but still lingered in interest and I had to use all the resources at my disposal to tackle it. I guess it was one of the reasons I had to keep writing as it was a way to keep my account a float despite the powerdown and it worked. Right now I am nearly at 2000 HP, I am not sure I would get to 2000 by the end of the year though but I will take what I have and strive for 4k HP in 2026. My new goal is to make my hive account heal from the numerous withdrawals I have made as it has really drained my hive account and even made me stop writing in some of the communities that gave me good curations in the past. The power down has stopped and my account is in its healing phase.