A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE

 When it comes to making friends, the degree at which two people can be friends rely solely on where both people spend the most of their time. I find it difficult to make friends online because the people I chat with on a very deep and personal basis are very very few. In fact, they are not up to 5. I can not boast of starting a great relationship with a total stranger online because I only work there. I do have those I see as work friends, and they are even here on hive because we share a lot of work related activities together. I have understood that friendship begins with a need, it is usually born when you and a total stranger find out that you need to work together to achieve a particular goal. And by the time you realize it, both of you discover you have a lot in common and it grows from there. For me, I usually do not have the time to build new connections because I still have a lot of work to do with those I am still trying to become friends with.  Photo by mahyar mirghasemi on Unsplash

Now that I think about it, there was a time I was very intentional about my relationship and it gave me a long lasting friendship that still benefits me to date. From what I remember, friendship began when I decided to do good. As simple as this sounds, this was what got me the friends I have today. I never imagined I would meet any of them in my lifetime, I never imagined that I would enjoy any of the benefits that came with me being friends with them, I just wanted to do good. The holy book even says let those who want friends show themselves friendly, and that was the approach I took that gained me a lot of great friends. But then again this did not come without a cost. There are those who used me without mercy, lied and betrayed me, I still feel the pain sometimes, but when I look at what I got from it, I am happy I did that.



For my online friends however, we are more like acquaintances. I prefer physical friendship because I feel there are things that can not just be replaced. There are levels to trust, things can be hidden online, character and behaviors can be formed online, but when you meet them physically, no matter how they try to hide it, if you are smart, you will get a glimpse of it. It could be from the way they speak to others, or their first unconscious response, or when they say one thing and mean another… I have once tried building a relationship with someone who just wanted to use me to pass time, and I knew when she casually said it to a friend not knowing I was listening in.This are the reasons I prefer physical relationships, but it’s different for everyone as it is also a matter of perspective as there are those who form deeper bonds with people online but can not maintain a physical conversation.

THIS IS MY RESPONSE TO HIVE LEARNER'S
PROMPT FOR WEEK 191 EPISODE 1