Lately, I like to do too much | LOH #247
When I saw this week's Ladies of Hive prompt, it sent my mind spinning. What's one thing you love doing lately? A passion, a new hobby? Not really. Rather, I find myself stuck in the same passions, except stuck ain't the word. I love the things I used to love, and I might tell you more about them sometime soon, but for now, I can't.
I've been neglecting my practice.
Before, whenever people talked to me about needing to get back into yoga, I'd think, secretly, privately, well, what's keeping you? Can't you carve out 10-15 minutes for yourself in the day? MAybe you don't want to. Our certificate teacher had the same attitude - it took seeing it in someone else to understand how unfair it was to approach like that.
I launched into teaching straight away. They say it's good for you. Didn't even wait for my certificate to come through, I was teaching my first class a week before I graduated. For August, I'm looking to teach three classes a week - my regular on Saturday and two new ones on Friday night. It's a lot, especially considering no one in my class has even started teaching, and that's to toot my own horn just a little, except not really.
I push too hard.
Yes, yes, I know. The same old complaint. And I thought it wouldn't happen with yoga. It was supposed to be something fun. It was supposed to be something I could reasonably do while still enjoying it. But of course, old habits die hard, and my little inner tyrant wanted to do it straight away.
I launched the class for Saturday which, up to this point, has been quite unsuccessful. Enter bitterness. Resentment, Frustration. Doubt. Didn't stop me taking on another class, though, and I'm looking forward to the classes on Friday, as they're a partnership with a different studio - quite a fancy one, too! Yay.
Between trying to promote the classes - something I may tell you more about in a different post -- and writing, trying to wrap other things up and trying to also live my own life, I've been stretching myself thin. Feeling like I come up short on all counts that matter. It's tranquil inside my head just now, but only because the monsters like to pretend they're sleeping.
When I agreed on the new classes, I decided it was time to get back to my practice. Funny how easy you lose track. How easily I'd dismiss my friends talking about the struggle of consistency. I thought fuck that, just push yourself. I been physically active, but more, I've been busy. I don't got those 10 extra minutes.
Now, it's painful to see how stiff my body has become, how difficult simple poses are, how easily I ose my balance in the most tranquil of poses. I jolted out of pigeon pose three times this morning. I can't for the life of me keep my head down. There is so much to do, and I'm not doing a very good job of doing it.
When I stepped on the mat and failed, my inner tyrant was ready to attention. Look at yourself. What's this. What have you got worth teaching when you can hardly move yourself. Compassion? Marketable? If not, not interested.
It's not a good way to be.
Even in this, the place where I most need my yogi mind, my inner compassion, my patience, even here, I sometimes fail to show up for myself. It's much easier, always, to castigate myself. To think try harder. To push when the sign says sit the fuck down and take a breath.
I need to center.
I need, more than ever, my yin.
Both on my mat and off.
Both in class and in my personal practice.
I try.
Feel bad when someone reminds me how crucial this is to healing.
But how? How do you? How do I?
View or trade
LOHtokens.@honeydue, You have received 1.0000 LOH for posting to Ladies of Hive.
We believe that you should be rewarded for the time and effort spent in creating articles. The goal is to encourage token holders to accumulate and hodl LOH tokens over a long period of time.
Sometimes, we don't understand other people until we put ourselves in their shoes. We might think having or creating even just 10 minutes out of our time to do something we love is easy until we see for ourselves, because at times, we fall into doing things too much that we realise how much time we have left those things we used to love and getting back to them might be hard. Still, with a little push, we can get back.
From what I've experienced, your classes are genuine and deeply personal, rooted in who you are. That's priceless. Exactly what I would look for in a yogi. It might be hard to market, perhaps, at least until word of mouth spreads. Yet for me, it's still the right way to go. And it's healthier in the long term, helping you avoid slipping into that "bored expert" mindset, feeling like it's just another job.
The new lessons start in a little while. There's still time to breathe, reconnect, and find your flow again. I have no doubts you will, and no doubts about you re-mastering pigeon pose in a way that would make real pigeons envious.
Getting back home home might help too ;)
Thank you 🤍🐦 and yes, no doubt going back to Bucharest will help.
Dont beat yourself up in this, I guess this is more than natural. As I have my mat lying here in plain sight I literally never use it at home, but always need the 'mental support and obligation' of heading out to class.
For some reason doing it at home? I dunno... but we shoullllld....
Thanks, love. I know. It's easy to slip up when it's just you keeping yourself accountable.
Don't beat yourself up!
Take your time to prepare your body and mind to face the changes you need to make in your quality of life, and embrace them with joy.
It's important that you identify the details you need, and from then on, everything will surely go very well!
Happy Friday!
Thank you
Oh my, how I can relate to this. I mean, I’m not into yoga to the extent you are. (For me it’s pickleball, among other things.) But I recognize the inner tyrant, the drive, the lack of compassion for self.
We don’t do ourselves a service by having such high expectations and standards for ourselves that we feel crappy whenever we are standing still. I don’t know the answer, but you have inspired me. I’m vowing to cut myself some slack. I may not do less or slack off much in the amount I do each day, but it wouldn’t hurt to focus more on feeling good about what was achieved instead of focusing on what wasn’t. Good luck taming your inner tyrant!
It's the culture, I believe. We're so focused on doing, on getting shit done, it's killing us. And robbing us of the pleasure we used to get from ordinary activities. Good luck finding the joy again and getting back to pickleball! 🤗
Don't push yourself too hard, the habit of being calm as is necessary in yoga is not an easy thing to achieve even if you have a little experience. I hope you can feel good while doing it. A hug friend 🤗
Truly, you do too much but I'll say you think or worry too much about what you've not been doing. Maybe just focus on getting back on track without the thoughts that you're being stiff, you'll do fine.
Thanks for joining in.
!LADY
View or trade
LOHtokens.@merit.ahama, you successfully shared 0.1000 LOH with @honeydue and you earned 0.1000 LOH as tips. (10/25 calls)
Use !LADY command to share LOH! More details available in this post.
So true. Very good point about this rigidity contributing to my physical stiffness. Thanks for prompting the thought. Hugs! 🤗
Sounds like a tough but relatable challenge, @honeydue...It takes immense self-awareness to recognize this cycle; your honesty about your inner critic is powerful 🙌 Don't push yourself too hard...It's true, that even in something meant to be restorative like yoga, pushing yourself to your limits can truly lead to burnout and frustration. Take some rest and take your time dear... Hope you can get back on track of the things you used to do 🙏🙏🙏