From A Past Life. | LOH #242

The lovely Ladies of Hive asked a very interesting question this week.

A mystical and powerful being offers you the chance to reincarnate, but you must choose between two options: the first is to keep the memories of your past life but without meeting the same people again. The second option is to forget everything but find the same people around you reincarnated just like you. Which would you choose and why?

As soon as I read it, I knew I wanted to answer it. I've written here on the subject of soulmates often. I mean, it's been eight years. Probably not a lot of topics we haven't discussed. A few years ago, I was wondering about past lives. A few years later, I am wondering, still.

To me, the answer was clear as day (that is, if you're lucky enough to have your days clear). Give me the people anyday. Memories are nothing without the love that populates them, so I don't really see the point in coming back, remembering that I loved you, and not ever finding you again.

Of course, there's more to the question than meets the eye. When we hear "same people", we typically think of family members, lovers, friends. The good. But the "same people" means you'll run into the dangerous people who maybe messed you up in some way. Would you? Would I? In a heartbeat.

But what if it's worse?

You're not living the same scenario. In different circumstances, life-threatening could escalate to killed. Because neither of you remember what's happened already. You could end up really, really hurt.

And is love worth it? It has to be. I doubt many of us even question it. But what if you're not loved? Could you be happy living a new life where your mother is somebody else's mother? Somebody close, but nevertheless, not you. The love of your life, sexually incompatible. The prompt is up for interpretation. So much could go "wrong". Since nothing is previously established, the hurt and love you've already experienced are not guaranteed.

Would you reincarnate next to the people who mean the most to you, even without the guarantee of the reciprocal love that exists now?

After all, if @graveyardpat wasn't my brother, our relationship would be vastly different. There is no telling whether we'd be close, love one another, be able to laugh at the same jokes. Nature and nurture, that eternal question.

Would you?

I would.

I think when you love somebody, you're happy knowing they exist. Love is this tremendous privilege of getting to somehow exist alongside them, to share part of their journey, to hear them tell a joke in a random coffeehouse, in passing, and perhaps never meet them again, or meet them properly at all.

I'd go with Option B because I'm not going through life collecting people like keychains or stick-on-forehead-stars. Why would I stow the love I've been lucky enough to have, in hope I might accumulate more? At the end of the day, I don't love you because I loved you yesterday, but because you're in my path to love. Maybe it's a strange, seemingly unreasonable difference, but it's mine, and I'm sticking with it.

Seems to me going through life remembering but missing acutely all those you'd dearly loved is a little like this one:

'Cause night after night, I see your face
You opened my eyes and I can't look away
You stare back at me
You're staring back at me, yeah
[..]
These smiles, they just make me cry
Every time
'Cause happy
Happy people
Just remind me of you

Much as I love these three deeply talented men, I don't see why I would want to go through life experiencing this.

Ah, but what if you met someone better? Someone you loved more?

Maybe. There's always the question of what could be. The question of better. More. But often, it's a trick of the light. Presumably, if I reincarnated into another family, another life path, I would also find people there whom I loved a great deal and who, mayhaps, also loved me.

I could be on a very different path, being loved by somebody else. More. Different. Better, maybe. But in this scenario, that means giving up on those who've been kind enough to love me already. At the end of life, if I'm asked to give something up, I'd rather forsake the past, my own personal pleasure in holding on to all these wonderful memories, than give up on the ones who've been kind enough to let me love them.

But, lady or not, what about you? :)