Stereotype: My Journey as a Lady in Tech

Growing up in Makurdi, Benue State, I always knew I was different. In our Tiv and Idoma cultures, a woman is expected to be modest, respectful, and focused on taking care of the home. From a young age, I was taught how to pound yam, fetch water from the stream, and join my mother in the kitchen to prepare pounded yam and egusi soup for guests. Technology was not even part of the conversation, not at home, not at school, not even among my friends.

When I told my family that I wanted to become a software developer, they looked at me as if I was speaking a foreign language. My aunt asked, “Na wetin be developer? You no go marry?” In Benue, especially in Makurdi, the stereotype is that a woman should marry early, start a family, and support her husband’s dreams. Anything outside that script is seen as rebellion.

In university at the Benue State University, Makurdi (BSUM), I noticed that I was often the only lady in tech meetups. Whenever I raised my hand to answer a question or suggest a solution, some guys would laugh softly, as if to say, “What does she know?” Sometimes, they would offer to “help” me finish my code, assuming I didn’t understand it. Meanwhile, I had spent countless nights debugging and watching tutorials on my small itel phone with limited data.

When I started my internship, it got even worse. Clients in Makurdi would walk into the office and automatically speak to my male colleagues. Even when they introduced me as the one handling their website or app, they would still ask my colleagues questions instead of me. One client even said, “Ah, this one wey be woman, you sure say she sabi?”
I'd always feel outrageous but still keep my calm.

Benue culture emphasizes respect, but sometimes that respect turns into silence. As a lady, you are expected not to “argue” or “show yourself too much.” But in tech, you have to defend your ideas and show confidence. I had to learn how to balance cultural respect with professional assertiveness,it was a very tough line to walk.

However, my background also gave me an advantage. The Benue spirit is one of resilience. We are known as the “Food Basket of the Nation” because we work hard on our farms and value community support. I carried that same hard work into my tech journey. I learned to support other women in tech, to share resources, and to encourage secondary school girls in Makurdi to consider coding as a path.

Today, whenever I stand to speak at a local tech event or mentor girls at a bootcamp in Wurukum or High Level, I feel proud. I am breaking stereotypes, one step at a time just like bugs. I am proof that a girl from Makurdi, who once pounded yam and helped her mother at the farm, can become a software developer and build products that impact the world.

I have realized that being a lady in tech from Benue is more than just a career choice. It’s a mission to rewrite the narrative for every young girl who has been told to "stay in the kitchen" or "wait for marriage." We are more than that, we are builders, innovators, and leaders. And I am proud to be one of them.

All images are mine

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