I still care,But we aren't meant to be

Have you ever had to let go of a friend you once thought would be in your life forever? I have,not gladly though. It still stings when I think about it sometimes. We often talk about heartbreak when it comes to romantic relationships, but no one really prepares you for the heartbreak that comes from losing a friend especially someone who felt like a sister.

Her name was Sarah, we met during our first year in university. We clicked instantly, she had this loud laugh, the smiling type, a big heart, and a way of making every room feel warmer. We would talk for hours about life, love, school, our struggles, our big dreams and even laugh about how impossible some of them were. She was the kind of person you could call at 2am just to rant about something silly, and she’d listen like it was the most important thing in the world. For years, we were inseparable. My family knew her, her family knew me. We did everything together.

But somewhere along the line, something shifted.At first, it was little things, she started cancelling plans last minute, not replying to my messages for days, and even when she did, her responses felt dry and distant. I noticed that whenever she was going through something, I was always there but when I needed her, she was either "too busy" or just didn’t seem to care much. I’d cry to her about things I was going through, and she’d brush them off or change the topic. Sometimes she’d even make jokes about my problems, and when I told her I didn’t find them funny, she’d say, “You’re just too sensitive.”

Still, I held on, i kept making excuses for her even when a lot of thoughts came to my mind, I'll cover them up by saying things like
“She’s just stressed.”
“Maybe she’s going through something she’s not ready to share.”
“She’ll come around.”

But deep down, I was hurting, I was starting to feel like I was the only one putting effort into the friendship. Like I was constantly pouring into someone who never poured back into me. What made it worse was that we had mutual friends, and I noticed how kind and supportive she could be to others just not to me, i felt it personal.

The final blow came when she shared something deeply personal I had told her in confidence and she turned it into a story for laughs during a gathering. I was shocked, embarrassed, hurt , and to point helpless,i felt alone and when I confronted her, she laughed and said, “You dey overreact.” That was the moment I knew this friendship wasn’t healthy anymore.

So how did I end it? It wasn’t some dramatic breakup or heated argument,i was too calm for that and besides I don't like violence so i just slowly pulled away. I stopped calling, stopped checking in, stopped showing up where I knew she’d be. I didn’t block her or delete our pictures, i just stopped trying to always be there even when am not needed. When she noticed and asked why I was acting off, I told her calmly, “I just need time to figure things out.” And that was the last real conversation we had.

At first, it was hard,i felt a part of my body had gone, I missed her, i missed the late night chats, the shared jokes, the silly adventures but as time passed, I began to heal and then i started realizing how much I had been compromising myself in that friendship, how I messed around with my self esteem, I began to see how I’d shrunk myself just to keep her close. I had lost pieces of myself trying to hold on to someone who no longer valued me the same way.

Now, when I look back, do I regret ending the friendship? No, not at all,i even wished I had done it earlier. Sometimes we hold on to people just because of history, not realizing that history alone isn’t enough to sustain a healthy relationship. A true friend doesn’t make you feel small, a real friend listens, supports, and respects your boundaries.

Sarah taught me something important that not all friendships are meant to last forever. Some people come into your life to teach you something, and once the lesson is learned, it’s okay to let go. It doesn’t mean you’re bitter, It just means you’ve grown.

I’ve found better friendships now. People who see me, hear me, and show up without being asked. People who make me feel safe, valued, and loved,these persons remind me that friendship isn’t supposed to feel like a constant struggle.

I still smile at some of the memories with Sarah, honestly i still wish her well. But I’ve made peace with the fact that her chapter in my life has ended. And I’ve learned that walking away isn’t weakness sometimes it’s strength, It’s choosing your peace and I’ll keep choosing it every single time.

A lesson I've learned and hope you learn; Always value your self esteem,make sure it's at peak level.

All images are mine

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